It was real sad what happened to that guy up the street. They locked him up for a DWI after he crashed his car. He kept claiming that a tree jumped out in front of him.
I kind of side with him. I know about those rogue trees. There've been a few reports of a big, mean looking tree wandering the streets of downtown. He hasn't really caused any trouble, but he's real anti-social. Him and a small gnag of shrubs hang out in the alleys and terrorize dogs.
I think its kind of bad when the area starts turning into a tree slum. Next thing you know, there'll be gangs of bad seeds hanging around the shops and stores. Property values would plummet.
Our once beautiful and scenic downtown would turn into an urban jungle populated with grungy, dirty, violent trees and flocks of pigeons.
There's nothing worse than seeing a beautiful young tree get led astray. That path only leads to gangs, violence, drugs, single seedlings, welfare, groundlessness. Its really sad walking past a poor tree that has to live in the middle of the sidewalk because it can't afford a good plot of ground. And its bad to think of welfare and fertalizer stamps going to healthy-looking trees.
I don't want this to happen to our downtown. Last night we had a town meeting. No one wanted to resort to herbicide, but we did decide to start some urban renewal plans.
I don't know, maybe we should let trees be trees. But hey, I like my house and my downtown. I think we'll just let them find something better to do.
Maybe we can build a softball field...