Life Just Is... 12

I really was needing this vacation. Work was hell, traffic had been getting to me lately (my friend who normally operates the lights downtown was working the suburbs so I actually had to wait at lights). And finally, I just didn't want to be social this weekend. I mean, there's only so much of my neighbors I can take.

So I loaded up my suitcase and headed to the airport. Well, as can be expected, there were troubles at the airport. First I couldn't find a parking space. I ended up pushing a Yugo out of its spot and up on the grass (under a big tree).

Then the metal detector was giving me hell because of my fillings. It took me ten minutes to convince the guy that I wasn't smuggling weapons, they just had their device set too high (they arrested a guy behind me for carrying a pen that kept setting it off).

When I finally reached the desk, the girl behind the counter cheerfully announced that I had been selected for their new pre-lost luggage program (she was cute, but kind of dim). It seems that the airline had implemented a new policy by which randomly selected customer's luggage was sent to a randomly selected location. Their theory was that by pre-losing luggage, they will cut down on actually lost luggage since they know beforehand where it will be going.

This kind of messed up some plans, as my luggage was scheduled to tour most of Europe before catching up with me, but at least they warned me so I could rescue my toothbrush (which was quite upset at the loss of a European vacation).

Finally, I made it to the plane. It was quite a walk since the airport was conveniently neutrally designed so that every terminal was equally distant from every other terminal, meaning they were all incredibly distant from the main terminal. And no matter where your plane came in, your connecting flight was very distant and you usually had to jog to make it.

So I boarded the plane. The flight attendant was a rather lethargic guy with a smile literally plastered on his face (in fact, his mask almost seemed stapled at times).

Wouldn't you know it, though, I was given an aisle seat next to an elderly looking bush. I just hope he doesn't want to show me pictures of his grandkids.